Mentee: Flex & Say ‘Yes’ – Part 3
This is the final article in a three-part Protégé Power series exploring mentorship and the importance of conditioning yourself—when you are the mentee or “protégé”—to respond to new ideas with a ‘Yes’. Embracing new and potentially unexpected ideas with a ‘Yes, And…’ is an operating principle borrowed from the world of improvisation. In the previous two articles, I highlighted the benefits of shifting yourself out of an inclination to deliver an immediate ‘No’ when you encounter a new concept. Many of us react quickly and judgmentally without even realizing it. Here, I present a couple of refinements to the practice of embracing new ideas with a ‘Yes’. These refinements are intended to calm your inner critic and equip you with a mindset designed to foster imagination and improve momentum in your career.
The first clarification concerning 'Yes, And...' is that this practice does not entail giving a 'fake Yes' merely to avoid conflict. In my experience, the way to sincerely embrace a new idea comes from uncovering a 'Yes' within yourself.
If you find yourself unable to say ‘Yes’ to a new and unexpected idea, what might be holding you back? Here is a valuable insight from our 'Basics of Improv' instructor mentioned in Part 1: Saying 'Yes' to an idea is different from committing to implement that idea. Often, an initial reaction of ‘No’ stems from uncertainty about whether we have the resources to follow through on the suggestion. To address, clarify to others—your mentor included—that when you say ‘Yes,’ it means you are considering the idea, not necessarily agreeing to implement it. You can even explicitly state: "That is an interesting idea, and I will consider it." An affirming ‘Yes’ to the idea simply means you are open to the possibility.
In improvisation, another aspect of offering a 'Yes' response to an incoming idea is that improvisors are not entirely strictly bound to their partner's suggestions. Each player retains freedom to accept or modify the statement or action they receive. The only imperative is to keep the action and dialogue moving forward.
In the real world of our job and careers, your ‘Yes, And’ response involves taking a moment to comprehend what you just heard. You may need a moment—or a few days—to process the idea received; then I advise you to transpose that idea, statement, or suggestion into ‘The Key of You’—much like a vocalist works with an accompanist to adapt a never-before-heard piece of music into a key that suits their voice. The vocalist considers and adapts, rather than rejects and discards… a new piece of music.
Imagine you are a relationship manager at your company, and you express to your mentor that you are interested in understanding the Customer Service area better. You explain that, while you regularly coordinate tasks with the Customer Service team, you have never worked directly in that area. You lack practical knowledge of their day-to-day activities and challenges. At times, they seem to experience backlogs or other issues that you do not fully understand; this leads to disruptions and conflicts between your team and theirs. Since the Customer Service team is crucial to serving your customers, you want to gain a deeper understanding of this work area. Your mentor suggests, "How about we find someone there with whom you can do an informational interview?" You like this idea, though feel an informational interview might not provide enough understanding. You respond, "I like the idea of an informational interview. I wonder if we could identify someone there who would permit me to shadow them for a day. I could observe ‘a day in the life’ for someone on the team and ask real-time questions to understand their challenges."
The above example illustrates a “Yes, And…” approach to a mentor-mentee discussion. This scenario is not fictional; it is drawn from my real-world experiences managing a formal mentor program. The program I operated encouraged cross-pollination activities, such as job shadowing between teams, to foster better understanding and improved workplace relations. In a mentoring scenario, your mentor may be able to arrange a job shadow in an area of the company where you have curiosity yet lack connections. Because your mentor has a different network, they may be able to supply an inroad to an area where new understanding will create improved relations and an increased ability to do your job.
Jazz musicians and improv performers exemplify openness, fluidity, and adaptability in their work. A jazz musician experiences inflows of stimuli, receiving these while simultaneously maintaining their own essence; next, making incremental real-time decisions on how to integrate these new stimuli into their performance. Similarly, in a mentoring arrangement, the mentee's task is to determine how to adapt and incorporate the mentor’s suggestions into what the mentee is already doing. The objective in this interplay is to arrive at an outcome that reflects the input of both parties. This process of listening, reflection, and integration is one that requires practice. Like so many things, as you practice, it will become second nature.
In a mentoring relationship, embracing the “incoming stimuli” of your mentor’s ideas, then responding with your own ideas creates a dynamic interplay that will result in something greater than either can achieve alone. A mantra I recommend in any feedback-driven relationship is: "I am willing to make space for new ideas and give them room to breathe, evolve, and grow into something great." This encapsulates something we strive for in a mentoring partnership: the ideas of both parties are heard, valued, and integrated to motivate and accelerate forward motion—just like in improvisation partnerships.
The application of flexing and saying 'Yes' to new ideas involves the following steps:
Consciously commit to rekindling your ability to genuinely experience 'Yes'. Instead of automatically rejecting and negating, embrace the imagination and agreement-based partnering many of us knew and experienced in childhood.
Say 'Yes' to the potential of the idea. Make it clear to others that your ‘Yes’ means you are considering the new idea; it does not mean you are agreeing to implement it. That decision comes later.
Trust the process of making space for new ideas. Give new ideas room to breathe and evolve, opening the door for these ideas—however unusual or unexpected—to grow into something great.
Cultivating habits of curiosity and flexibility enhances your capacity to spark growth and expansion. In a mentoring arrangement, being open to new ideas can lead to unexpected career growth and increased workplace satisfaction. By saying ‘Yes’ to new experiences, you set a powerful example that easily may serve to inspire others in their journey. To deepen your understanding and application of these principles, check out the book Innovation at the Speed of Laughter: 8 Secrets to World Class Idea Generation by the Brave New Workshop comedy theater. Additionally, I encourage you to find and take an “Introduction to Improv” class. The investment in your learning and class participation has many applications and will be well worth it.
